And off I go again...

I thought it would be fitting if I wrote one more blog post before I take off for America.

Now, I must first talk about the trip as a whole. I can't believe that I have been here two weeks. As much as I seem to have missed you this entire time (I think I have defied the physics of emotion and missed you more than should be possible given this time period), the trip has, in reflection, gone by very quickly. When I think about all that I have done, it doesn't seem I've been here very long at all. But then, I think that is the weird thing about going home. No matter how long you stay, the familiarity of it all makes time irrelevant. As I suppose you can imagine, I never identified "home" as a building, one particular place. It's where my family is, my things, Topaz, all these things that I have associated with permanence. Because isn't that what home is? Someplace that will always be there, waiting for you. I realize now that no matter the difficult times my mom and I have gone through, she is the closest thing I have to a home. I can come here and not feel like I'm in a strange place for long. I have the run of the house, I know these things and I don't feel like a guest. I know I said I did in a way, but I think that has more to do with my familiarity with this place. It's not like I can run down the road to the store or go hang out with my friends and I had to use my passport to get here. But even when I go visit my dad, that's not familiar. It feels temporary and I am very aware of my surroundings and their strangeness. I have gotten used to this place already. Added on to that though, I do feel that longing to return to what has become the most comfortable for me. Laramie is my home now. It feels right to go back there, its a place where I rejuvenate and where I belong. If not there, then where else? You are a big part of that. I belong where you are. So that has been a strange sensation while I've been here. I'm home, but I want to go home. I've almost told you a few times, but it wasn't that important: this is the closest I've felt to homesick in a very long time. The point is, I am very ready to go back to Laramie and I want you there with me.

For as anxious as I was before I got here, I don't think this trip could have gone any better. I was really psyching myself out before I got here, and that was making things worse in turn because I am well aware that my attitude going into a situation definitely affects the outcome. My mom and I have gotten along really, really well. We definitely didn't have any revelations about our relationship together or break through any barriers, but that's just fine with me if I can enjoy spending some time with my mother. Not just that, an EXTENDED period of time. That's a big step for us. And Meghan, whatever. She's got lots of life left to figure out her shit.

So, all in all, it was great to get out of Laramie and see a new part of the world blah blah blah blah. The whole "vacation" aspect of this trip isn't really what did it for me. I would have happily given that up to spend time with you. But I think you know what this means about my relationship with my mother is very important to me. So I'm glad I got to come.

I wish I could skip this whole travel things. Usually I like traveling by myself, its enjoyable to just kind of do my own thing and melt into the background and have time to think and think and think without any distraction or interruption. But I've had plenty of time to think here, and I know my mind is clearly going to think almost entirely about you. Which is great, but I would much rather actually be with you. I'm going to lose my shit. I don't know how people make long distance relationships work, I really don't.

I wish I could show you some pictures from the caves, but I don't have a cord for my camera and Lord knows where the one for my mom's is. Here instead is something I think you'll be very interested in anyway...

Topaz's bum, that always needs so much patting.

This is the one picture Meghan saved on my mom's computer of Topaz that didn't have her stupid hobbit face in it. We went on a walk and seeing how hilarious Topaz is, she walked through a big mud puddle. It was hilarious, until we got home and I had to wipe her feet off. Being wiped with towels is almost as painful as being bathed.

Let's see what other gems Meghan has to offer...

Ok, I was wrong. Here is a picture of Topaz and my mom, and Topaz is totally leading the way. She is the best at following paths. You say labs like to hunt. If Topaz were running through the unchartered wilderness and saw a path, not only would she follow it, she would also feel very proud of herself for finding it. I guess that might be appropriate. Let me just put it this way. If Topaz is running through, say, a park, she'll find a sidewalk and get on that. And be proud of herself. Oh God, I miss her so. This was some quality time spent together.

Here's my mom and I being awesome.

Now, I guess this is evidence that my mom is feeling better. Because sometimes, she would just not be down for shit like pretending she's in the Sound of Music. But she did. Also to her credit, I think part of the reason she did it is because it was kind of pissing Meghan off.

Now here is a good picture: cat and basket at the Basket Man's house.

Here's the same kitty!

The Basket Man had a bunch of feral cats. This one was confusing me because it came near us, as evidenced in above photo, and started meowing and throwing itself around. Then I get close with my basket and it starts getting all nervous. So then it decided to go prop itself up against this wall. I don't know what he was doing, but even if he doesn't know, he is my friend. I befriended all street of cats of Terceira while I was here, in honor of Lily.

I don't think I ever told you about this nature reserve! It was crazy awesome. We were just driving around the island, and we get down the west side that is completely forrested, in contrast to the more field-y side we live on. We're driving along and all of the sudden we see this sweet fountain just on the side of the road. Now this is all Pan's Labyrinth-y, so naturally we pulled over to check it out. This is one of the few places where I took pictures. This and the caves and Topaz were awesome enough to take pictures of. It turns out this is some sort of socialized nature preserve/park for the people. There was a playground and a whole bunch of cool picnic tables and stone grills and trails up into the woods. It was really, really pretty. I will tell you more about it and show you some pictures when you get back! Plus, I don't know if you can really notice, but that is definitely a duck on that fountain. When the fountain engineers were planning this out, they also make the brilliant decision to not have the water come out of the water dwelling animal, but instead have it come out of the mouth of the naked woman whose head the duck is sitting on. I love Portugal.

Teeter-totter!

I got all jazzed up about this. It seems like no playgrounds in the states have seesaws anymore, and I don't understand because they are really fun! I really had to sell Meghan into playing on it with me, but I think she had fun in the end. Especially since it prompted my mother to talk to us about how vaginas are referred to as cherries, as in "cherry bump." Now, you've never lived in Europe or the 60s, so I don't know if you're familiar with that term. But sometimes teeter-totters hurt our vaginas. Totally worth it though.

Oh my god, Topaz just farted and I think she's trying to kill me. She cuddled with me earlier though, so I guess I will forgive her.

It was nice to reminisce. I really did have a good time.

Now, you have to come home. I have told you countless times how much I miss you, and it's driving me crazy because I can say it until I'm blue in the face (or have carpal tunnel) but they're just words. I would say, I wish I could convey this feeling to you instead because that is what's genuine. But I think you feel it too. I don't think it's wrong to say that I hope you miss me this much. Again, I think you do. And that is comforting, not having to do it alone. So if you ever have those doubting suspicions, just note how much you miss me, and that's what I feel too. I promise.

Being back in Laramie is going to be torture! How many of your roofies do you think I should take to knock me out for a week? That will be helpful for your family too, since wasn't it the plan to drug me to get me to the airport too? I'll just stay drugged until then. And afterwards, so you can take me home and have your way with me. Win, win, win.

You just got online and I'm chatting with you, so I'm going to wrap this up. You may notice an extra itchy nose the next few days. Don't panic. That's just me thinking about you and nothing else. Maybe a kitten or two thrown in, but it's more like you AND kittens.

Also, I was thinking about names for our chocolate lab. That's probably a weird thing to do, but whatever. The name that popped into my head and won't leave: Datsun. Just think about it.

I love so you much sir. And I am going to smack your ass so hard your eyes will roll back in your head.