I MISS YOU

Spontaneous Inspiration

Hi beautiful. So this is my audieu to Malicestory and Worchestershiresauce Vol. 1.

I'm so glad I got to talk to you this morning, as it's probably the last opportunity I'll have to see you before I start the journey home. Although it was more you talking to me and me being insanely tired and non-responsive, it always makes me happy to see your face and hear your voice. When we got back together before I left, I knew for certain that I was still deeply in love with you when your voice, your laugh, your smile felt to me like a song long unsung, a melody more moving than any track, sequence of sound or beat. You do something to me, something profound and everlasting. Although I fantasize about giving each other our forevers, I know that regardless of what happens there will always be a part of me that has been inspired by you. Some of this recognition had taken me a long while to realize, but I'm undeservingly fortunate to have the opportunity to tell you. To have the opportunity to show you. To have the chance to show you what I once was, what I am today, and what I will always be, and to get the same in return. I feel like so much is between us that it just isn't a coincidence, as though something between us has been influenced.

Somewhere along all of this neurological (and physiological) excitement I've also been fortunate to take advantage of this little trip I've made to Korea. Not sure if you know about it, but I've had a pretty good time, and it's been a very wonderful experience. I'm plagued with a narrow sight at times, and getting away enables me to broaden my perspective and understanding once more, to think clearly so to say. I realize (and have realized) for a long time that I've not been living to my fullest, and that many decisions I have made have been excuses, reclusive ignomity, tasteless and blatant dissregard. Although I do have confidence and respect for some of my characteristics, there are other aspects that I have left at the wayside these past few years as a result of severse psychological trauma, depression and complete enigmatic chaos. I've spent time lately attempting to pick up some of these pieces, and fashion them not into who I once was, but incorporate them and utilize them in an image that I am today. Although this repair is far from a completed project, I think I've returning to a position to my life where I can begin to be more satisfied. In fact, far above satisfaction. Enthsiastic, eager, devoted, fascinated. But most of all, I want you to be there with me for what I see as a new chapter in my life. There's much we still have to learn, but you've always proved to be more than anything I could have ever imagined in a girl, and I hope that never changes.

One thing I'm certainly enthusastic for are puppies. Indeed, I've been having thoughts of getting a puppy once I got out of college for some time (with a friend kitty, of course), but now that you're in my life again it just makes me absolutely excited. Every time I think of you it makes me absolutely excited (in more ways than one), but when it involves little fuzzies I just can't control it. Hopefully someday soon we'll have a little puppy to call our own.


Maybe something like these cuties? Moments before this little puppy dives his face into a cool pot of root water, with his big brother right behind. The whole experience in Jeon Ju was pretty fantastic. I really liked that such a large sector of down was devoted to not only traditional architecture and lifestyle, but also because the area was heavily maintained by artisanry and traditional forms of cultural urban substitence .

Somewhat of a birdseye perspective of the area of town in Jeon Ju dedicated to this aesthetic, it's in interesting contrast to the distant apartment complex rises (which house most Koreans, and are everywhere in this country) and the western style house up above.

Jeon Ju was probably my most favorite trip while I was here in Korea, mostly because it provided the densest amount of personally interesting things for me. It's odd, too, because Jeon Ju was probably some of the hottest weather there was while I was here. And not because the sun was out, infact, it rained a lot while we were there. Mostly because the humidity was so insane, and it seemed to just have lingering heat in each moist, gassy molecule.

Speaking of wetness, I believe I am well prepared for the epic encounter that is going to be us adequately bathing eachother. I've heard about the task at hand for myself, but I'm prepared to stop at nothing until each tiny little wet part of your body is completely satisfied. I might clean you so well you won't even be able to walk! But don't worry, it isn't violent, I just have a good work ethic, a strong core, an adept tongue, and an unyielding curiosity, interest, and desire to try things.

I told you that bus ride was long. Long, and wet, and hot, and sweaty. I just didn't know what to do with myself!Here's a naked dude, while we're on the subject. It was kind of completely random, this place. It was a traditional medical information/museumy house, that included the development of Korean medicine and the modern day practice as it's related to the still practiced method of earthly remedies, herbs and such. I think this guy was supposed to outline the various nerve connections throughout the body (they practice plenty of acupuncture here), but I'm not sure.

We also went on to do an analysis of body-type characteristics (apparently it's broken into four categories), and whatever one I was it was pretty entertaining to read about my dos and donts and dietary limitations and behaviors and etc.

But what was nice is we sat in this little area and had our feet go through an aqua-massage aperture for a while.

But even nicer was the lillypad lake. I wish you could have been here to see it, it was certainly a site to behold. Which reminds me, if we plan on getting a kitty sometime together I would be completely satisfied to name her after a very special, but brief, kitty that was a small part of you and your mom's life. It breaks my heart a little to think about it, but I'm reminded of the fact that she got to spend her last days with you. I can't honestly think of a better way for a little kitten to go than that. You're special in lots of people's lives, Kaitlin, even if some are small and fuzzy and Portugese.

I thought you might have some respect for this awesomeness. Golden shower puns aside, there's something pretty awesome to being in a bathroom completely reflecty with gold. I'm pretty sure that this could possibly be the most awesome lavatory I've ever been in. Partly because the entire thing is gilded in gold, partly because I wanted you there with me (as with most shower areas I was in here), and partly because the faucet was awesome as well, although I didn't get a picture of it.

I can't believe I will say goodbye to my room in less than 24 hours. Although it was a home away from home, it was desolate in a sense that you weren't here with me. I think this is the last time I go anywhere without you, there's simply too much I wanted you here with me to experience, too many times I wanted to talk to you, laugh with you, adventure with you, journey through new things, people and times with you. Too many times I wanted to hold you, look into your eyes, breathe your sweet smell and taste your sweet kiss. Too many times I wanted to hold your hand, feel your touch. Too many times I wanted your love here with me, too many times I wanted to love you with everything I've got. Although it was nice that we could communicate, there certainly isn't anything remotely close to actually being next to you. I hope that when I get back we can work on making up this lost time, and all the damned lost time before that. Although some of it may or may not have been necessary, none of it was welcomed.

I can't wait to see you, and I love you with all my heart.

And off I go again...

I thought it would be fitting if I wrote one more blog post before I take off for America.

Now, I must first talk about the trip as a whole. I can't believe that I have been here two weeks. As much as I seem to have missed you this entire time (I think I have defied the physics of emotion and missed you more than should be possible given this time period), the trip has, in reflection, gone by very quickly. When I think about all that I have done, it doesn't seem I've been here very long at all. But then, I think that is the weird thing about going home. No matter how long you stay, the familiarity of it all makes time irrelevant. As I suppose you can imagine, I never identified "home" as a building, one particular place. It's where my family is, my things, Topaz, all these things that I have associated with permanence. Because isn't that what home is? Someplace that will always be there, waiting for you. I realize now that no matter the difficult times my mom and I have gone through, she is the closest thing I have to a home. I can come here and not feel like I'm in a strange place for long. I have the run of the house, I know these things and I don't feel like a guest. I know I said I did in a way, but I think that has more to do with my familiarity with this place. It's not like I can run down the road to the store or go hang out with my friends and I had to use my passport to get here. But even when I go visit my dad, that's not familiar. It feels temporary and I am very aware of my surroundings and their strangeness. I have gotten used to this place already. Added on to that though, I do feel that longing to return to what has become the most comfortable for me. Laramie is my home now. It feels right to go back there, its a place where I rejuvenate and where I belong. If not there, then where else? You are a big part of that. I belong where you are. So that has been a strange sensation while I've been here. I'm home, but I want to go home. I've almost told you a few times, but it wasn't that important: this is the closest I've felt to homesick in a very long time. The point is, I am very ready to go back to Laramie and I want you there with me.

For as anxious as I was before I got here, I don't think this trip could have gone any better. I was really psyching myself out before I got here, and that was making things worse in turn because I am well aware that my attitude going into a situation definitely affects the outcome. My mom and I have gotten along really, really well. We definitely didn't have any revelations about our relationship together or break through any barriers, but that's just fine with me if I can enjoy spending some time with my mother. Not just that, an EXTENDED period of time. That's a big step for us. And Meghan, whatever. She's got lots of life left to figure out her shit.

So, all in all, it was great to get out of Laramie and see a new part of the world blah blah blah blah. The whole "vacation" aspect of this trip isn't really what did it for me. I would have happily given that up to spend time with you. But I think you know what this means about my relationship with my mother is very important to me. So I'm glad I got to come.

I wish I could skip this whole travel things. Usually I like traveling by myself, its enjoyable to just kind of do my own thing and melt into the background and have time to think and think and think without any distraction or interruption. But I've had plenty of time to think here, and I know my mind is clearly going to think almost entirely about you. Which is great, but I would much rather actually be with you. I'm going to lose my shit. I don't know how people make long distance relationships work, I really don't.

I wish I could show you some pictures from the caves, but I don't have a cord for my camera and Lord knows where the one for my mom's is. Here instead is something I think you'll be very interested in anyway...

Topaz's bum, that always needs so much patting.

This is the one picture Meghan saved on my mom's computer of Topaz that didn't have her stupid hobbit face in it. We went on a walk and seeing how hilarious Topaz is, she walked through a big mud puddle. It was hilarious, until we got home and I had to wipe her feet off. Being wiped with towels is almost as painful as being bathed.

Let's see what other gems Meghan has to offer...

Ok, I was wrong. Here is a picture of Topaz and my mom, and Topaz is totally leading the way. She is the best at following paths. You say labs like to hunt. If Topaz were running through the unchartered wilderness and saw a path, not only would she follow it, she would also feel very proud of herself for finding it. I guess that might be appropriate. Let me just put it this way. If Topaz is running through, say, a park, she'll find a sidewalk and get on that. And be proud of herself. Oh God, I miss her so. This was some quality time spent together.

Here's my mom and I being awesome.

Now, I guess this is evidence that my mom is feeling better. Because sometimes, she would just not be down for shit like pretending she's in the Sound of Music. But she did. Also to her credit, I think part of the reason she did it is because it was kind of pissing Meghan off.

Now here is a good picture: cat and basket at the Basket Man's house.

Here's the same kitty!

The Basket Man had a bunch of feral cats. This one was confusing me because it came near us, as evidenced in above photo, and started meowing and throwing itself around. Then I get close with my basket and it starts getting all nervous. So then it decided to go prop itself up against this wall. I don't know what he was doing, but even if he doesn't know, he is my friend. I befriended all street of cats of Terceira while I was here, in honor of Lily.

I don't think I ever told you about this nature reserve! It was crazy awesome. We were just driving around the island, and we get down the west side that is completely forrested, in contrast to the more field-y side we live on. We're driving along and all of the sudden we see this sweet fountain just on the side of the road. Now this is all Pan's Labyrinth-y, so naturally we pulled over to check it out. This is one of the few places where I took pictures. This and the caves and Topaz were awesome enough to take pictures of. It turns out this is some sort of socialized nature preserve/park for the people. There was a playground and a whole bunch of cool picnic tables and stone grills and trails up into the woods. It was really, really pretty. I will tell you more about it and show you some pictures when you get back! Plus, I don't know if you can really notice, but that is definitely a duck on that fountain. When the fountain engineers were planning this out, they also make the brilliant decision to not have the water come out of the water dwelling animal, but instead have it come out of the mouth of the naked woman whose head the duck is sitting on. I love Portugal.

Teeter-totter!

I got all jazzed up about this. It seems like no playgrounds in the states have seesaws anymore, and I don't understand because they are really fun! I really had to sell Meghan into playing on it with me, but I think she had fun in the end. Especially since it prompted my mother to talk to us about how vaginas are referred to as cherries, as in "cherry bump." Now, you've never lived in Europe or the 60s, so I don't know if you're familiar with that term. But sometimes teeter-totters hurt our vaginas. Totally worth it though.

Oh my god, Topaz just farted and I think she's trying to kill me. She cuddled with me earlier though, so I guess I will forgive her.

It was nice to reminisce. I really did have a good time.

Now, you have to come home. I have told you countless times how much I miss you, and it's driving me crazy because I can say it until I'm blue in the face (or have carpal tunnel) but they're just words. I would say, I wish I could convey this feeling to you instead because that is what's genuine. But I think you feel it too. I don't think it's wrong to say that I hope you miss me this much. Again, I think you do. And that is comforting, not having to do it alone. So if you ever have those doubting suspicions, just note how much you miss me, and that's what I feel too. I promise.

Being back in Laramie is going to be torture! How many of your roofies do you think I should take to knock me out for a week? That will be helpful for your family too, since wasn't it the plan to drug me to get me to the airport too? I'll just stay drugged until then. And afterwards, so you can take me home and have your way with me. Win, win, win.

You just got online and I'm chatting with you, so I'm going to wrap this up. You may notice an extra itchy nose the next few days. Don't panic. That's just me thinking about you and nothing else. Maybe a kitten or two thrown in, but it's more like you AND kittens.

Also, I was thinking about names for our chocolate lab. That's probably a weird thing to do, but whatever. The name that popped into my head and won't leave: Datsun. Just think about it.

I love so you much sir. And I am going to smack your ass so hard your eyes will roll back in your head.

A Short Romance

Well, it's certainly been a while since I've put anything into the blogs. I've been awfully busy, but it's the kind of busy where you're aware of the fact that you're time is being consumed. The type that doesn't distract from heartache. Regardless, my life here is active in a sense and consequentially arguably fulfilling. However, I can pretty easily imagine some other things I would like to be doing, most of them involving my lovely Kaitlin.

But don't get too excited, you! Since I'm sure you're a little "flustered" by now, why don't you cool off?:

I'm willing to bare it all for the sake of our relationship, so I hope you understand that I mean business. Serious business. The business of Spandex, just for you. When I'm strolling mainstreet Chuncheon in a midsummer afternoon wearing nothing but my skin-tight swim trunks I hope you understand that I'm doing it for my full and utter devotion to a very special girl whom I love deeply.

Enough of this vintage shit. Only the fools and the unvogue live in the past, we must be hip and chique if we are to make it in this world. From dusk till dawn my third eye's inquisition maintains an order necessary for proper contemporary Korean culture. That is, I adhere strictly to the codes of mainstream fashion, accessories, undertoned yet overly-prevalent sub-brand name indie style and torqued out unnecessarily peacocked dressup accessorization.

God damn, it's like I flew over the Pacific and crashlanded in the worst possible amalgamation of Hollywood, Sundance, Brooklyn, well shit. . I don't know. It's disturbing. It's like the Disney Land of MTV pop culture and MySpace with a sprinkle of mass-favorite artists and unoriginal existentialism. I still can't put my finger on it, but I can taste it.

And it's bitter.

But I digress. There are certainly things here that make the journey worthwhile. The view for instance:


That's the Slovak. There she is pretending to be globally appreciated. Fortunately, this is moments before I caber toss her into that building.

That was the trip we took to a Buddhist temple many many miles up once of the mountains nearby Chuncheon. We drove a good ways up the mountain and then had to walk about 2 or 3 kilometers to reach it. The walk itself was very nice though and full of gorgeous scenic mountain landscape that it didn't seem far at all.

Infact, along the way I came across something relatable:


Along the pathway there was a very pretty stream that was home to several sculptures of ancient Korean lore. Although I got a pretty terrible translation of the genuine story behind this, I figured it was something about a a beautiful, independent, knowledgable young princess who fell in love with a serpent.

Although I'm sure you'll get the step-by-step of this trip in more detail when I return, there were some other little niceties that I thought you would have enjoyed should you be in company:


It should be noted that tigers are not indigenous to Korea.


However, some beautiful wildlife is.

The recent trip to Seoul and the palace provided some pretty nice pictures as well. Unfortunately, the experience was only so rewarding at the time because of the extreme weather conditions. The tour guide that we had (it is illegal to be on palace ground without one) was very skilled in English and, although the tour was a Korean one, tried her best to throw in a little English here and there. Probably because she was really nice, but who knows. Maybe because my hostmother bought her some water half way through. I'll save the traditional architecture photos for later, even though they were pretty breathtaking, because I got some others that I knew you'd like.


"I love the lotus because it blooms with such clean and beautiful flowers, however dirty the water may be, latently possessing the virtue of a true gentleman."

If I were a king, I would probably have 13 lotus ponds in my palace too.

Most of all it should be known that I have had a lot of time to spend thinking about you. Thinking about us. Thinking about what we were, what we are, and what we might be. Although I don't possess the wisdom or foresight to know exactly, I do know that the impression you've made on my heart is strong and everlasting. So much of me has been ruined as I let it drown in the sanguine rivers lightly filtered from the resevoir of perception, but I never denied myself the gripping, blissful sensation of fresh air. Driftingly softly among a breeze, a breeze dancing gaily ontop of the soil that I've grown to loathe. I think it's when I see you smile, when I notice your eyes notice mine, as you dance your dance, that I know what it is to love. To love and to be loved. To trust and to be trusted. To give myself to one and for one to give itself to nothing but itself.

The rhythmic palpitations that visit my heart when you spark in the darkness.


I have one last question.



Well, do you?

Praia, Angra, and Tile Jesus

So, I have a little bit of time and I thought I would update you on some of the goings on in this part of the world.

First of all, I have to describe the general mood I have been in since arriving. I know I have not been the most agreeable, but then, when I am in a good mood my mom and sister usually get really annoyed with me. I tend to come out feeling better about my relationship with them, maybe not particularly about myself, if I keep to myself. So I have been very reserved and try not to talk too much. I always sit in the back seat, don't really contribute much to conversation, and don't comment much. My mom has actually been rather enjoyable. I have brought up to her just a few times that she is speaking to us very rudely, but we have avoided all confrontation. Meghan, on the otherhand, is being a total brat. Anything I do provokes her. Like today I came downstairs after I got dressed and her reaction was "You look like a crazy person." Yes, apparently you can identify crazy people these days by their strict uniform of jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies. My choice to not react to her just makes her call me a bitch and pout. I don't know, I just would rather sulk a little bit until she leaves then have a real row with her.

But enough about these other people, let's get to the good stuff. I haven't really felt like taking pictures at all. I feel like we haven't really seen a whole lot yet and I'd much rather see it all than experience my vacation from behind the viewfinder. My sister has taken the other route, so at least I can steal some of her pictures.

To start, this place is absolutely gorgeous. Even though I wish the weather were a bit warmer, you can tell the impact all the rain has on the scenery.

This is just up the road from my mom's house. These rock walls are everywhere, EVERYWHERE. They break up the entire island into little pastures. This one was empty; actually it seems like most of them are vacant at any given time. From the way my mom described it, it seems most farmers own many of them and rotate the fields that they graze their cows in. Makes sense to me.

We have visited a few of the many towns along the coast. The first day we were here, we went to the nearest "city" to my mom's house, Praia. It was quaint, but lovely.

This is me walking along one of the fancy roads in Praia. It's bigger than I thought it would. The cobblestones are all decorated throughout town. Oh, and they are crazy about their tiles. Bat shit crazy. The street names are on tiles. I have seen some houses completely covered in ceramic tiles. In fact, today we went to a really cool tile shop my mom frequents. I bought some cool (cheap) ceramic things, and the nice lady gave us an impromptu tour.

This is a tile they were making special for somebody who really loved Jesus; and that could be anybody because they are even more bat shit crazy about Jesus here than they are about ceramic tiles.

This is one of the tiles up in Praia. It's really cool, along their "walking street" and boardwalk they have these up with quotations and illustrations of Portuguese poets. These are about what the street signs look like too. It says some stuff that looks deceivingly like Spanish, but sounds more like "sshhh sshhh shhh sh sh shsssshhh."

Today, we went to a really cool town called Angra. Like every other town here, it's on the water. But it is bigger than Praia and had a much more European feel to it. For being so small, Terceira actually has a lot. It apparently has a university with a great ecology program, according to my mom's landlord. Angra is on the other side of the island from us (I'm not exactly sure what side, but it's different than here) and they don't have a lot of sandy beaches. What they do instead is build concrete beaches along the rocks for sunbathers, and then create swimming pool like structures in the water that protect swimmers from the waves and undertow. It's very cool. We went to a nice one today, but it was kind of chilly and there were lots of hooligans in the water, so Meghan and mom were scared. We got down close to the water though, and it was absolutely beautiful.

See what I mean?

Well, I should be off to bed. Tomorrow, we get to go back on the Portuguese air base to get me a new military ID card and then we're off the a town with a really weird name to see some caves! Maybe there will be some underground mutant people in them that I can feed Meghan to. But, before I go, here is small treat (small because this isn't the best picture I hope to have come out of this trip) but here is the greatest person to ever walk the world and grace my life with her beautiful presence:

Topaz.

She loves chilling out with the girls.

I hope to hear more about your adventures soon. Starcraft at a baseball game sounds amazing, and I have a feeling that if nothing else could, it made your trip worthwhile.

I love you,

Malicestory

An email blog

Ok. so this was supposed to be an email, but my account decided to stop working. Luckily I was able to save this so I wouldn't have to type it all again. Ugh, Meghan is pestering me. I hope I get to talk to you soon. Here is my weird email/blog post. You owe me one. <3

My darling, Goodness! The past few days have been quite...well, I can't think of the word. If you will recall the inherent abilities of my father as tourguide and host, and then imagine the complete opposite, you have a good picture of what my mother is like. "Vacation nazi" has always suited her well. But I have been putting my foot down. Because, well, as beautiful and new as this place is, there really is not a whole lot to do. It it a tiny island. So, anyway, when we first got here my mom took us a small tour of the airbase. There is no real American military station here. We share space with the Portuguese army on their air base. So Meghan and I have to carry our passports with us everywhere and get special passes in order to get on base. It is, like everything else here, very small. There are less than 2000 American military personnel here, including their families. But you can definitely spot them. On the other hand, the towns and such are much more European and modern than I expected given the way my parents described it. There are lots of stores and tons of cafes. Plus lots of cobblestone streets. It seems that there is just run-on town after town around the entire coast of the island. As you move inland there are small fields segregated by old stone walls. I mean, as soon as you look away from the coast, that is all you see. It is very hilly and green. And there are lots of cows. As the Koreans love their pork, the Azoreans love their beef. Also, there seems to be a special culture not just for the Azores themselves, but also on each island. We are on the largest island, Terceira. They have this special, magical Catholic cult just on this island that center around these "spirit houses." They are tiny little houses that are built all over that house religious relics. As my mom was trying to explain, apparently most of them house at least one, if not several, crown and scepter. I think these all correspond to a saint, and at different festivals they are paraded around town. Catholicism freaks me out. It was also nice being here for the 4th of July. Being near Warren you may have experienced some of the fanfare that goes into a military celebration. It makes me want to barf. So my mom took my sister and I to the special celebration the Portuguese let them have on the airbase. It was nice I guess. There were children amuck. My mom is such a bitch though. The entire time it seemed like was her pointing out people she didn't like and why she was better than them. Although I did agree when she pointed out the entire family dressed in American flag polos. They were pretty douchey. My mom seems to have turned into your mother and I only lasted a day and half before telling her she is not feeding me near enough. While we were at the 4th of July celebration I felt really gross and ate two hot dogs in like 5 minutes. But then I had a chocolate covered frozen banana and it felt very Arrested Development-y and delicious. But then, the best part! The fire works show, I kid you not, started out synchronized with Ork battle music from the Lord of the Rings. It was intense and awesome and I couldn't start laughing. But actually, the entire event was pretty enjoyable. They had a band playing questionable music choices the whole night (a family event, and some of the songs they chose to cover were "Like a Virgin" and "Roxanne"). Earlier that day we had walked around the nearest "city," Praia. It was pretty and I saw a rooster! Immediately I coaxed it to become ambassador of the land for our dolphin excursion yesterday. We spent about 3 hours on a boat and did not see one dolphin. Actually, we didn't see any wildlife. Our captain was telling us that the water is beautiful and blue (which is it) but that signifies a lack of algae, so the whole ecosystem is pretty sparse. It was still a nice boatride though. My mom has a few more tours planned through the Outdoor Recreation program on base. Other than that, I don't know what she has planned for us. It is so goddamn cold! It is unseasonably chilly, which is awesome. Especially since we are on an island which means it is rather humid. So its that humid cold that makes you feel damp and cold on the inside. I hope it warms up. Yesterday is when I put my foot down on vacation nazi. After our dolphinless excursion we headed back home and my mom barely fed us. I was really tired so I went to lie down. Then Meghan and my mom wanted to go to the beach, even though it was barely 60 and rainy. And I said, have fun I'm going to stay here. My mom went into this rant about how it is my vacation and I can spend it however I want but she thought I was wasting it. And I said, great. So I stayed home and took a nap and I'm glad I did because I feel much better today. My allergies are super bad here, and I'm afraid its Topaz I'm so allergic too. :( Sad day. Today my mom had to go to work so Meghan and I just hung out here. We watched a little military television. Its awesome because all the commercials have been replaced by public service announcements centered exclusively on military members and their families. I'll have to tell you about some. But this is more what I had in mind for vacation: not doing a million things every day and just relaxing. Really, I fear what the nazi has planned for us. But I have stayed positive. I just hope it warms up a bit, it is absolutely freezing inside the house. I figured we'll do all the touristy stuff while Meghan is here. I think she leaves on Friday. She's into that shit. Who knows what will happen when it's just my mom and I. Good things? Well, I think I am going to go take a shower. I hope we get to talk some time. I don't spend any extended time on the computer because Meghan always wants to get on when I do and it's in the living space so I don't have any privacy. If we do end up talking it will be when I chance to see you. Unless you can tell me there is a time for sure you know you will be on and then I will try to get on. I hope the next two weeks go by pretty fast. I think I've spent enough time away from Laramie already. I don't know why I'm here for two weeks. Oh well. I think my mom is really excited we are here. It's a disconcerting feeling for me, but whatever. I'm just happy to hang out with Toto and Lily. Your Korean adventures sound very adventurous. I think about all the fun things we are going to do when we both are back. Not long now. I think about you all the time and how much more fun you and I would be having here. I love you, Kaitlin

Off I go...

....

I'm going to give you a gratuitous amount of ellipses, just because I know you love them so much...

I am leaving in about half an hour on the long leg of international plane trips of my Azorean adventure. Meghan is super excited and I just don't share the same enthusiasm as her. I'm trying to get a little more psyched up, but it's really hard right now because my allergies are terrible and my eye is swollen and uncomfortable because of them. I think as soon as we hit that plane its Benadryl time! Woo! (...)

It is absolutely pouring rain and thundering and lightening here. I like it, but I hope it doesn't delay our flight any. Just what I need is a few extra hours in DIA with Meghan to make this trip #1! (...)

But I feel as if I'm being a pouty poop, like Mollie. Who pissed on me today as I was putting her in her carrier. She really showed me how much she did not want to go in it. But who got her in? The man of the family: Kaitlin. Meghan is such a pussy. It was even my first try getting her in...

So I have decided I am going to make a quick list of things I am happy about...

1. I can positive think.
2. I am getting away from Turtle Rock.
3. I am going to a place that I have never been before, that sounds like it is going to be very beautiful and serene.
4. I, apparently, am not vain. (I was worried.)
5. I bought some new books for the trip that I am excited to read.
6. My mom gave me 50 pounds to spend while we are laying over in London, so I can buy a shit load of booze, cigarettes, and designer perfume at the duty free.
7. I got to see Mollie. Even the fact that she peed on me makes me love her more. She is so unabashedly a bitch.
8. I GET TO SEE TOPAZ SOON!
9. My family can only make me feel bad if I let them, and I won't let them.
And very importantly...
10. You.

So there, I have ten very good things to feel good about. I feel better already. I am going to miss out talking to you the next few days, and I will figure out how this is going to work out right when I get there. I get there at night sometime, so I don't think we will have any big plans besides going to bed.
And I'm just to going to warn you in advance. If I seem a bit reserved or colder while talking to you while I'm there, that just means my mom or sister is amuck. I know it is kind of cowardly, but the best way for me to deal with them and their attacks on me is to give them as little ammunition as possible. It is in no way a reflection on you.
I hope you always know that no matter what I love very, very much and I can't wait until we can spend real time alone together for reals. None of this webcam shit.

So, here I go. I will be thinking about you tons. If your nose itches, then you'll know for sure.

I love you.

Just For You...

...and all the sweet things you do.